As someone who tends to be very flip if not sarcastic, or that’s what I’ve been told, I see myself as humorous. I see something funny and I give a quick off the cuff observation to it. But whatever is close enough, I’ve always had a low-tolerance for stupid questions. And my definition for a stupid question is pretty simple. Any question that someone asks as if they don’t know the answer, that they should know the answer to. “What color is red?” Would be an example of that.
Like the famous question from Ferris Buehler’s Day Off, the high school principal at the bar because he can’t handle the stress of his job. Taking a look at the Chicago Cubs baseball game and asks the bartender “what’s the score?” The bartender answers 0-0. The Principle asks, “who’s winning?” The bartender says the Bears or perhaps Da Bears being in Chicago. The Chicago Bears are obviously a football team, but the good thing about stupid questions, is they give wiseass’s like me, the opportunity to give smart answers to stupid questions. The Bears to that question would be an example of a smart answer to a stupid question.
What’s a smart answer? Well if you’re paying attention you already know the answer to the question. Because the answer is in the question. What is a smart answer, which would be like asking what state is Florida in. You follow, hopefully I haven’t lost you yet. It’s a simple concept, but that’s another example of a stupid question. Asking a question, again as if you don’t know the answer. That has the answer in the question. But a smart answer would be a clever humorous response to a stupid question. Or someone saying something dumb, perhaps they weren’t thinking. Not paying attention whatever.
I have about twelve years experience working in customer service. So I’ve heard more than my share of stupid questions from people who just had brain surgery and the doctor forgot to put the brain back in. Or the person was high or drunk, not paying attention and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to give smart answers in response. If you ever watch SNL Celebrity Jeopardy, its sort of the same thing, but different. Will Ferrell playing Alex Trebek, who does a better Alex Trebek than the real Alex Trebek, has the dumbest celebrities on possible.
Or what SNL sees as the dumbest celebrities they can think of. Even though I didn’t see Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Michael Moore or Ben Affleck up there. Its more like people like Tom Cruise, Marlin Brando, Sean Connery, Burt Reynolds and people like that. Who are all fairly intelligent people in real life. But SNL loves to make fun of these people and Trebek asks these people intentionally the dumbest questions possible, but on purpose. Like he’ll show them the color red, Burt Reynolds is wearing a red shirt and Trebek will ask Burt, “what color is red?” And of course Burt blows the question. Or Trebek will ask the panel, “what year is it? Which Holiday comes on December 25th, that involves giving and receiving presents?”
And you would think Trebek is asking these people questions about ancient Greek history or something, but they are so dumbfounded. One piece advice I can give anyone who approaches me or tries to start a conversation with me, including online where I get a lot of less than brilliant questions, which is putting it nicely, like “what does individual liberty or freedom of choice mean?” Again two questions that have the answers in them. And my answers will be like, well its the freedom of choice. “Well what’s that?” The freedom to choose and if they are still dumbfounded.
I’ll ask people online do they speak and comprehend English, should I answers these questions in a different language. My advice for people Is to think at least a little bit before asking me something or talking to me. Because I do have a quick lip to things that I consider dumb. And will respond to them in a humorous way. Thats not a threat, just something to keep in mind. But I won’t try to devastate you and use name-calling. But to let you know, you just asked me a dumb question and you may even laugh with my answer.