Stand Apart Comedy: Bob Newhart on the Jack Paar Show in 1965

Good Job Bob!

Good Job Bob!

Source: This piece was originally posted at The Daily Review: Stand Apart Comedy: Bob Newhart on the Jack Paar Show in 1965

I’m personally not crazy about flying myself. But not because I’m worried about the plane crashing, but because I’m 6’5 and 220 pounds or so and even in economy plus, I’m generally not that comfortable on an airplane. And besides generally when I fly I’m going from the East Coast to the West Coast which is a six-hour trip going out West. This is going to sound horrible, but not liking flying is a hell of an excuse for not seeing my family out there. Because I can always say that is a long way to fly for just a few days, or even a week and then to fly back. As far as bathrooms, or food on the plane, I think I rather do those things in jail. Not that I want to do those things in jail, but if it’s a choice between one or the other, well maybe I would lean towards the plane. Because I know I’ll getting out of there in hours, instead of years. And I won’t be in jail, it will just feel like it.

As far as having more accidents in the bathroom than on a plane. Sure! For people who aren’t potty-trained yet. Oh, you mean people slipping on wet floors and that kind of thing. Well maybe they’re not bath, or shower-trained yet either. Seriously, how hard is it to keep all of the water to take a bath or a shower in the tub? We’re humans, not horses. There’s only so much water that a human needs (assuming they shower on a regular basis) in order to bath and shower themselves. And if water gets on the floor anyway, because I don’t know you’re just coming back from Africa, or perhaps someplace where showers are illegal, or water is not available, or maybe you weigh over three-hundred pounds, just waking up from a coma from watching a Jean-Claude Van-Damme movie marathon, or something and you need a lot of water to bathe yourself, here’s a tip. Dry the floor before you get in the shower and use a mat to step on when you get out.

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About Ederik Schneider

Blogger on a whole host of subjects.
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